Bringing democracy home: Using the State of the Union to teach civil dialogue

Each year, the President of the United States delivers the State of the Union address, outlining priorities, challenges and goals for the country. While it may seem like “grown-up politics,” it can actually be a powerful opportunity to spark meaningful conversations at home with children of all ages.

In today’s political climate, where division often feels louder than dialogue, these conversations matter more than ever.

What is the State of the Union address?

The State of the Union is a yearly speech given by the President to Congress at the U.S. Capitol. Required by the U.S. Constitution, it serves to report on the condition of the country, share policy goals, outline legislative priorities and highlight national challenges and achievements.

It is not just a political event but a civic moment that should belong to everyone, regardless of party affiliation.

Starting point for conversation

One of the most important things parents can model is the value of recognizing and engaging with civic moments in our government. The State of the Union provides an opportunity to show children that you can talk about national issues thoughtfully and respectfully without turning the discussion into a partisan battle.

In this sense, the State of the Union is valuable regardless of whether you agree or disagree with the President delivering it because it provides a shared starting point for impactful discussions. Regardless of party affiliations, it outlines what the current administration believes are the country’s priorities, reveals what issues are at the forefront nationally and invites discussion about values, goals and solutions.

As a result, families of any political affiliation can use it to discuss a multitude of topics:
• What kind of country do we want to live in?
• What issues matter most to us?
• How should problems be solved?
• What does leadership look like?

This is not about convincing children to adopt a particular viewpoint but about teaching them how to engage thoughtfully with complex issues.

Why this is more important than ever

Unfortunately, today’s political climate can feel intense and divided. Social media often highlights extreme opinions, disagreements can become personal and many young people grow up seeing politics as more combative than constructive.

When adults argue online, avoid difficult conversations or treat politics as off-limits, children miss the chance to learn how healthy civic dialogue works.

With these things in mind, the State of the Union offers an opportunity to practice listening, think critically and respond respectfully. When families model calm and thoughtful discussion, even across different viewpoints, children learn that disagreement is normal, respect matters and participating in democracy requires conversation. That example may be one of the most important lessons parents can offer today.

Here are questions to consider when teaching children to have civil dialogue:

For young children (ages 5 to 8)

Keep it simple and value-based. Focus on:
• What does a president do?
• How do leaders try to help people?
• What makes a community strong?

Conversation starters:
• “What problems do you think leaders try to solve?”
• “If you were president, what would you want to improve?”
• “How can we help others in our town?”

Keep the focus on service, leadership and responsibility rather than party labels. Talk about the qualities that make a good leader (honesty, hard work and caring for others) and how leaders serve their communities. This helps children think about values and actions instead of political sides.

For elementary and middle school (ages 9 to 13)

This is a great age to introduce respectful disagreement. Focus on:
• Why do people have different opinions?
• What is compromise?
• How do policies affect families?

Conversation starters:
• “What issues did you hear about?”
• “Why do you think some people supported that idea and others didn’t?”
• “What questions would you ask the president?”

You can create a simple family chart with three sections: Ideas We Like, Questions We Have and Ideas We Disagree With. Use it as a tool to organize thoughts and encourage everyone to share their perspectives. Most importantly, remind one another that it is okay to disagree and that respectful disagreement is a healthy part of democracy.

For teens (ages 14 to 18)

Teens are ready for deeper civic analysis. Focus on:
• Evidence and persuasion
• Policy impact
• Bias and perspective
• The role of opposition parties

Discussion questions:
• What was the main theme of the speech?
• What evidence supported the claims?
• What might critics argue?
• What values were emphasized?

Encourage teens to watch and analyze the speech from multiple perspectives. Doing so helps them strengthen their critical thinking skills and learn how to evaluate ideas independently rather than simply accepting them at face value. Just as importantly, it teaches them to consider different viewpoints thoughtfully before forming their own conclusions.

Ultimately, by approaching the State of the Union with a calm tone, open-ended questions and a focus on shared values rather than partisan labels, families can model the kind of respectful dialogue democracy depends on. Even small efforts, such as watching a short clip, reading a summary or discussing one issue over dinner, can become meaningful traditions that build civic confidence over time.

In a time when division often dominates the headlines, conversations at home carry real weight. Democracy is strengthened not only in Washington, D.C., but in the everyday discussions that happen around the kitchen table.

What are other ways parents and caregivers can model civil dialogue? Share your tips with us on the Arizona PBS Kids Facebook page!

About the author

RikkiLynn Archibeque is in her 11th year of teaching in Arizona and has a bachelor’s degree in history from the University of Notre Dame, a master’s degree in secondary education from Indiana University and a master’s degree in learning sciences from Arizona State University.

She currently teaches high school history and government and is a cross country and track and field coach. She is also the wife of a high school administrator, Jake, and the mom of a gifted third grader, Cruz.